Feeling sleepily and missing you badly...and i mean badly!!!!
today school start at 10am..haha ya morning woke up at 6.30am then head to grandma hse then later abt 8.10am went to take a shower then head to meet buddy at her block there...ya then weather super duper hot la..then i still wear black....haha then head to school went to hall for assembly then at 10.30am we have recess..is like huh reach school for awhile jiu gt recess like so weird la..but nvm then eat abit then head to class ya oso saw alot of ppl late is like 30plus students late la...but some classes did nt have recess cos follow the timetable one...ya sad he dun have recess cannot see him..haha..but anyway head back to class then wait for mr lian to come ya then our class like alots of ppl nvr come like abt 11ppls nvr come and mr lian teach us new lesson ya abt the volume quite easy but abit confused...ya but manage to did it....ya then end school at 12.05pm is like we go school at 10am then for like 1-2hrs then go home le is like huh come school for jus 1-2hrs then go home so lame la....actually we quite good le no remedial class cos some sec 4 and 5 classes gt extra lesson during remedial class is like so poor thing but i think gt better cos u can like study more...ya haha...dun noe why suddenly in class feel so helpless and hopeless...feel like i hate myself more...i think bcos i think abt him too much le or always think tat i cant forget him and always think i will surely fail la.....haiish nvm will be better soon...ya....sorry buddy keep disturb you....ok im very tired shall stop here maybe at nite then post again if can...ya...
im so sad did nt see him today...i miss him badly and i means really bad...i dun noe shld i let go or carry on to like him is like very confusing???then i oso dun noe who can lend me a listening ear and is willing to listen....sad....feel very helpless and hopeless....then dun noe he is good guy or not...super duper confusing...then i really miss him till very badly and i means i really miss him... haiish im really very confused dun noe what shld i do next...haiish...see all the couples together so super duper envy them how i wish i and he was like those couples....envy...then wan to see him, he dun appear. dun wan see him he appear....then wan to forget him oso so hard everytime fail....how i wish now gt a guy who truly love me and who is willing to give me happiness forever and is willing to share all my sorrows with me....how i wish but i think its fat hope.....loving someone for a very long time is very hard to let go now..and loving someone secretly is oso very super duper painful inside and lastly when u heard them say i already like someone is like more hurt inside....but they dun noe how u feel cos is like they nvr experience it before...but when they experience it before is like they only say sorry,,,,and the next day they forget it le....haiish im confused who can help me...and is willing to listen to me....who noe how im feeling right now???
back to post ya went down for skating cos tmr must pass up the book le so now den rush see i so bad...haha ya reach home slept awhile until 5pm then at 5.30pm then when down to skate ya..ya now back so post lo...nothing much happen la...ok shall stop here...
haiish now i feel like giving up on myself....i now feel like im alone in this world is like im really totally alone and is like i wan someone to be with me wherever i am, especially i wan him...cos whatever i do now is like i just wan someone who can accompany me forever in life and stay by my side forever..i just wan him now....is like without him or someone by my side i feel so helpless and now i feel like crying....im really seriously feeling totally alone now and i means really now...wan to talk to him but if i talk or chat with him i cant stop and is like sometime talk to him he will ignore me....is like i very irritating meh??haiish i just hope tat i can be his or someone gurl right now.....haiish..then now like so many problems coming family, tis problems, studies and even cca is like totally too much stress le cant handle it by myself just hope he can help me...and hope someone is there for me too..hope someone can understand how im feeling right now....especially him hope he will get to noe me and understand me more when the time comes....and understand how im feeling right now....im really very envy those who is able to cope....how brave they are....i wish i was tat kind of person...hope he can encourage me and comfort me and give me a big hug now...i wan a shoulder to lean on and cry on can he lend me???wan to forget him so hard...i just wan to be with him forever and stay by his side forever...can i??think is fat hope right???haiish sad....
